I have started fitness bootcamp and this is a brand new endeavor that I never-in-a-million-years thought I would take on.  When I look back on my life, I dreaded any type of physical activity that involved me being around other people.  I loved playing basketball – but I was always the slowest person on the team.  Those damn suicide drills literally felt like emotional & physical suicide.  I despised P.E. class.  I cringed at the fitness competition my elementary school had to do each year.  Recently, my best friend and I visited our Elementary school and I laughed at how I would cheat on the number of straws I had to represent how many laps I took around the field.  What a nightmare!  I didn’t as much mind the gym – everyone kind of keeps to themselves.  But to workout with people was a total non-desire.  It always made me so anxious that other people would see what poor shape I was in!

I turned a corner 2 weeks ago when a friend of mine convinced me to join Fit Wit.  She told me how nice everyone was – said there are some people who are super hardcore fit – and others who are average – and some that are beginners – but that everyone is very supportive.  I really hated the idea of doing something that put me in a situation where I had to exercise with other people in a confined space – do drills and stuff.  Well, long story short I decided to do Fit With b/c I was awarded 1 free session (6-weeks) b/c I wrote a blog entry for a competition they were having on why I deserved a free session.

Today was the first day of my 3rd week doing bootcamp … and I can’t believe these words are about to come out of my mouth … but I LOVE IT!  Everybody is so nice and supportive!  The trainers definitely push you, but they aren’t like those psycho trainers you see on TV (I am thinking of the Military sergeant in the movie Full Metal Jacket).  And on top of this, I am really enjoying all the different activities we do each night.  It spices it up.  I am not dreading saying to myself, “Ugh, I have to go to the gym and get on the treadmill for 30 minutes).  Instead, there are little activities you do in short but difficult increments of time.  Everything is thought out for me too, so I just have to literally show up and do it!  I am still learning how to do the correct form for some of the stuff – like squats.  And I get a full 1-hour workout 4 days a week.  I haven’t lost any weight yet, I think my body is like, “Whoa!  What the hell are you doing?”  But I am staying confident that I am building muscle and the weight will come off.  I don’t think I have ever pushed myself this hard before in such a short amount of time too.  If I can do it, I know you could, too.

Last Friday was my 2-year Lap “Bandiversary” and I was awarded, serendipitously, camper of the week!  I won 20-free dance classes!  There are so many moments during the camp when I think to myself, “I f***ing can’t believe I am actually doing this!”  I picture how scared I was 2 years ago going into the hospital and now knowing what kind of person I would become when I walked out of there.  It’s fun to push myself.  Even though I have lost 90 lbs, I want to push my body and mind even further.  I want to be in tip top shape.  I want to keep changing over time into being a better, healthier “me.”  It takes time, and I know I am not perfect, and don’t always eat perfectly or have the perfect thoughts or attitude or energy – but at least I am making baby steps!

My weight was at a standstill but now it seems to be heading South again – which I am really grateful for!   I think it’s a mixture of a bunch of reasons, but I think I have hopefully gotten over my plateau.  I weighed myself yesterday and lost 3 more pounds.  This puts me at being down 84 pounds!

I went running today with the Atlanta Track Club – my friend Ben works for the ATC and organizes a running group for Monday nights.  I sometimes feel intimidated because I’m not a “runner” – I am happy to run for a long period of time – I have run up to 2-3 miles, but that was after consistent running.  After I got sick this year with that month-long sinus infection, it really took me back a few steps in my training – so I feel like now I have some catching up to do.  I met Ben in the park with the other runners.  There was this older man who wanted to run 7-miles.  I was like, “Okay crazy man!  Why don’t you start and I won’t follow!”  Anyway, I did 2 miles of a nice walk/run combo.  It was sooo hot today in Atlanta!  And I wasn’t wearing my good socks and I should have worn my good socks.  Socks really made a big difference!!  I was so sweaty and gross, but still decided to go to my gym and lift weights.  It felt great!

I am just really trying to focus on getting off my 100 pounds (short term goal).  As Ben said, “just think about where I was this time last year.”  I know!  Two years ago I was traveling in California with my ex and visiting my sister and brother-in-law.  Now 2 years later, I am in SUCH a difference place.  Two years goes by quickly but it also goes by slowly, ya’ know?  Like, I just can’t believe  what 2 years means.  It means changes and transition and ups and downs and strengths and faith and friendships and continuing to know I will reach my goals!  Just gotta keep on persisting and truckin’ along!  I really have to remind myself how far I have come!  And know if I have made it here, I can make it there.

I actually am still not 100% comfortable looking at old pictures of myself.  Maybe it’s because I am still trying to reach my goal weight?  Or maybe a part of me is embarrassed at how much I let myself go?  That time in my life was really important for many reasons – both where I was and where I was going.  This is a pic my ex took of my sister and me at the Tower of Terror – this pic is kind of symbolic of what a crappy place I was at in my life at the time!

My sister and me in CA. Tower of Terror has multiple meanings here - so much was going on in my life when this picture was taken!!

Most recent photo taken of me this past Sunday

This is from my blog Live Life To The Fullest

This is my first blog from my new Macbook Pro!  I am really excited about it because I am making some changes to my apartment.  I live in a pretty small place (although awesome!) and I usually spend my time in my bedroom on my computer because that’s where my big Mac G5 is.  But usually at night I decompress by watching TV or reading.  I find that when I try to read in my room, I get distracted b/c my computer is right there.  And then I can’t sit at my computer in my bedroom and watch TV because they are…well, in two different rooms!  So my plans is that now I’ll have my laptop with me while I am watching TV and I can be productive!  I can work on my website or my Photography or watch Family Guy (very important for Productivity) and most importantly, I can write my blogs from right here on my favorite orange reclining seat.

Just so you know, “The Bachelorette” is on TV right now and Jillian is debating whether to end up with Ed or Reid.

My weight has been @ a crossroads.  It isn’t in a bad place at all.  I am still down 81 pounds, but by God, this  plateau is insane.  I ran a 10K for crying out loud and still didn’t drop any weight!  I have a very stubborn body (and mind!)  I am going to my doctor in 2 weeks so I can get a fill – that’s the goal.  I have done a food journal and the nurse said my eating is good.  So, I’m not really sure the hold up.  It’s kinda making me a little down, but I don’t want that to get to me too much.

For dinner tonight I had 1 Trader Joe’s burrito with some peach salsa and low fat sour cream.  It wasn’t the best thing I could have eaten but it also wasn’t the worst.  I got home at 8:30pm and really didn’t feel like cooking tonight.

I did treat myself to a great massage and this was very wonderful!  I had the most tension in my neck and shoulders, and I feel like this “treating myself” is a good thing.  I think I care so much about other people, that I sometimes put myself on hold.  I’ve been better about that the last 2 years, but still – I am just a naturally nurturing soul.  My goal tomorrow is to come home from work and go on a jog around Piedmont Park.  Then I am going over to David’s house for dinner.  So just as long as I get a good workout in before dinner, I will feel much better.

Update:  Jillian is picking Ed.

You see … this is the joy of my new laptop!  I can open my soul to you and also keep you posted on “The Bahelorette” – sorry for any spoilers.

Things over all in my life are amazing!  I think I just need to keep pushing forward and pushing myself.  I’ve been a little lazier than usual the last 3 weeks – ever since my 10K – but now I am gonna get back into being very dedicated again to my workout.  I guess 3 weeks off is better than 3 months or 3 years!  I am just ready to see results again like FO’ REAL!!!

Running on 10th Street!

After the race in Piedmont Park holding up my coveted Peachtree Roadrace T-shirt

Yeah!  I did the Peachtree Roadrace!  It was such a great experience!  I woke up at 6 am to get ready – eat breakfast – stretch – listen to some upbeat music.  I took MARTA to the Lenox station and found my group (8).  I had about 40 minutes until my timed group finally took off – but it was so exciting to slowly keep moving closer and closer to the Start line.  Once I was there awaiting the countdown – I actually started to tear up.  I felt so silly, but I just couldn’t help it.  I think I was just overcome by A)  All the people + energy and B) Thinking about how far I’ve come with my weight loss and training.  To some people, doing a 10K is second nature – maybe they grew up on the Track club or something.  But to me, it was really a new beginning.  Not only working out – but doing a street race like this with 50,000 other people.  It just made me really excited and nostalgic of that time I sat on my balcony and watched it from afar…and now this year…I was finally doing it!I have to admit, it’s the best 10K for anyone to do for a first time.  There are so many people that nobody is really paying attention to “you” – unless you were dressed in all spandex (as I saw).  It’s a lot of fun with all the people and companies lining the streets to cheer you on.  Everyone is in a great mood.  And mad props to the Atlanta Track Club (Hi Ben!) for organizing such a great race!  

I loved seeing the mile markers and knowing I had just completed 1 mile – 2-3-4-5, etc.  Once I got to the High Museum (where I work) I knew it was the 5-mile marker, which meant I only had about a mile and a half to go!  Once I turned on 10th Street, I knew I would see Edward and David at the corner of 10th and Myrtle, so that gave me my final push to the end.  I just had so much fun.  It was hot and I poured a lot of water on my head.  I did my walk/jog combo and did my best to just listen to my body as to what I needed to do then.  Cardiac Hill sucked (the hill at Piedmont Hospital).  I am not even that sore today – it’s crazy.  I remember doing my very first 5K 82-pounds heavier, and I could hardly even walk the next day.  My legs and abs are sore – but definitely not nearly as bad as I thought they’d be.  Which shoes me that my body is in much better shape considering I just did my very first 10K.

I jogged to the finish line and it was at that point I wouldn’t let myself stop. U2′s live version of “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” played on my iPod shuffle and it took me to the finish line. It was kind of an exciting + spiritual moment and I was so proud of myself for rocking it out at the Peachtree Roadrace.  Of course, the real race is always within yourself – and I am loving seeing how my body is changing due to my weight loss – and my attitude – and I am already thinking about beating my time next year

This is from my blog Live Live To The Fullest

The Peachtree Roadrace is the largest 10K in the country and one of the largest in the World.

Nearly two years ago I was sitting on my apartment balcony eating cereal.  I think it was some type of Kashi Go Lean and some vanilla soy milk.  I was sitting there overlooking Peachtree Street as 55,000 people ran past my building, down 10th Street and capped off in Piedmont Park.  I woke up pretty late, so I saw the last of the 55,000 runners as they took part in Atlanta’s #1 tradition – the July 4th Peachtree 10K Roadrace.  As I sat there sipping my vanilla soy milk out of the bottom of my favorite breakfast bowl (it has little legs.  I’m serious) and thought to myself, “I want to do that one day…!”  I remember calling my now ex and saying it out loud – as if saying it out loud will somehow make it really, really, really real.  Now 2 years later, I meditate on how much has changed.  For starters, I don’t eat cereal any more and have to find new, creative ways to use my favorite cereal bowl.  Then there are those other changes – the ex, the view from my apartment (I can no longer see Peachtree Street thanks to the new high rises being built), my career, my weight, etc.  My life.  I am neither where I was nor where I want to be – but isn’t that where you’re supposed to be at 27?  I feel on my way though – definitely headed in the right direction.  We want life to be linear (that’s where our control issues shine).  Life isn’t linear.  It’s very cyclical.  And I think these moments we have remind us of that.  Where we see who we were and where we are – and where we are now – and where we want to be.  Little landmarks.

Do I think I’m going to run the whole 6.2-miles.  Well, to be honest, I don’t.  But does this mean I didn’t wake up at 5 am to register  for the race or commit myself to a 10-week running group at 7:30 am on Saturdays – or got so over-heated one day running that I thought I might throw up – or was so overjoyed on another run that I felt surrendered to all things?  Everything like this has happened.  And it’s been a journey.  Now down 82-pounds and counting, I am proud – so very proud – of how far I have come.  I never really thought I’d ever take part in “those” races.  They were for other people.  All those “other” people were doing it that day I watched from my balcony at ate my cereal.  Friends at 4th of July parties I’ve attended the last 15 years.  ”Those” people did the Peachtree Road race and wore their t-shirts at the cookouts afterwards and talked about how hot it was.  It was for them…”they” did it.  But now it’s for me.  Just as I am right here and right now.  Imperfect and dreaming and pushing my goals forward.  Anxious to wake up at 6 am and get on MARTA and take it to Lenox Mall.  Anxious to get to the Start line. Anxious to get to the Finish Line at Piedmont Park (a few blocks from my apartment…I am so lucky!).  Anxious AND excited!  I will be with 55,000 people tomorrow – walkers, runners and in-betweeners – I’d like to think it’s a testament to my commitment to challenging myself and pushing my health further and further.  I am the very first person in my family to do the Peachtree!

I have to give a HUGE thanks to my friends & family who have supported me these last several months and have wished me well tomorrow.  I can’t wait to cross that finish line – even if I am wearing a nerdy “Fuel Belt” (H20 bottles attached at my waist) – I know people will be jealous  It makes me feel prepared and maybe a little bit like a nerdy Super Hero.  

I can’t wait to report back tomorrow on how it goes!  

From a novice Peachtree Road race runner.

This is from my blog Live Life To The Fullest

My weight is still at the 80 pounds down mark.  I am so thrilled I’ve lost 80 pounds!  But I have my eye on the prize.  My immediate goal is to get down to 100 pounds off.  That’s only 20 pounds away!  I talked to my doctor’s office b/c of my plateau and they saw my food diary that I kept for a week.  They were really happy with my diary and maybe seemed a little surprised that I’ve hat this plateau.  The nurse said there wasn’t anything glaring off the page on my eating + activity.  So it made me happy to see that I am doing well and staying on track.  I can always think of a few things I can be doing to be better, but I am realizing that I’m never going to be PERFECT … but I can be pretty damn good!  

I am trying some new combinations of proteins and trying to eat something different for breakfast.  If my weight doesn’t budge in 2-weeks I might need another Lap Band fill.  

Anyway, over all things are great!  I just need to kick this plateau and sinus infection.  Especially now that I’m in this running group, I’m especially surprised my weight has plateaued.  Maybe it’s muscle?  I feel slimmer!  More than anything though, I’m just so much a happier now than ever before – due to a myriad of reasons.  I’m always daydreaming about where I’ll travel next.  And being healthy makes those daydreams a lot more fun now!  I’m in talks with a photographer friend of mine in Virginia about an Africa trip in 2011!  

Okay, Kate should be here so I’m going to go put on my NEW running sneakers!

This is from my blog Live Life To The Fullest

I didn’t let Ego get in my way.  I felt more comfortable in the beginner group so I switched.  There was one woman in our group who seemed upset that we’d have an interval of walking + running the 2 miles, and when I suggested to her that she might want to join another groups, she seemed put off.  So during our run, we were in our little pack dog formation, and she always had to make sure she was right up in the front – the lead dog.  She reminded me of the person in class who always had to sit in the front of the class to feel the smartest.   Anyway, I thought it was rather funny.  Oh, she was wearing running gloves or something which I didn’t get.  Okay Tiger Woods.  Whatever.  

Everyone else in my group was super nice.  It’s funny to have to strike up conversation with people when you’re running.  Feels like a first date – lots of get-to-know-you conversation and heavy breathing.  

I was wearing my iPod to get me pumped up.  I rarely run without my tunes.  But I realized I was being kind of anti social (Julie?  Being anti social?)  so I turned down my music.

We did a walk + run combo for about 2 miles (30-minutes).  We ran through Ansley Neighborhood which was just so beautiful.  Very picture perfect with lots of Saturday morning yard sales.  

I have kept up my workout routine since Saturday.  We have a 7-day running schedule so it’s like homework.  Saturdays are just the day we all run together.  I did buy some wispy shorts and a breathable shirt and a running gadget.  I only look the part.  I’m still a beginner.  I am okay not being lead dog, but I don’t want to be last on race day along with the Atlanta trash pick up people.  I love this challenge.  I **NEVER** would have even thought about joining a running group in my former life, so it’s a cool step to see how my weight loss is creating new ways for me to physically challenge myself.  I’m looking forward to this upcoming Saturday!  I’ll keep ya’ posted!

Happy Trails.

J

This Is From My Blog Live Life To The Fullest

I was always “chubby” and “overweight” growing up.  I told someone a story the other day about when I used to play basketball and my coach totally got mad at me because I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the team.  She sat me down in 8th grade – in the locker room – and literally made me feel awful.  Looking back, I’m sure she thought she was trying to help me.  And it’s not like I was so overweight that I couldn’t play and TLC was doing a documentary on me, haha, but I know that I wasn’t in as good of shape as the rest of my team.  So now, many years later, I’ve taken my progress seriously.  Weight loss is highly emotional and highly addictive.  And I want to reach my goals so badly.  I mean, hell, I’ve already lost 80 pounds!  Now I’m totally focused on reaching that 100 mark.  The pants  I wore to work today were too big.  It’s a bummer how much money I’ve had to spend on clothes, but it’s also joyous.  

Maybe that’s the point of this blog.  There is a good and bad to everything.  And as we grow up, we realize that there are two sides to every coin.  Being an adult has lots of cons but there are many pros, too.  I think I was always scared of growing up.  And maybe a part of me was scared to lose all this weight.  It’s all about fear of the unknown.  But during my walk/jog today after work – I saw some cherry blossom trees and the petals fell onto me just as I was walking underneath them – as if to say -

We welcome you.  Just as you are.  In this moment.  

This is from my blog Live Life To The Fullest

Eventually, after about 40 minutes of quiet Yoga, Jen put on some awesome eclectic trance music from different parts of the world, and we were encouraged to just dance around.  All around.  Leaving your space completely.  Having Fun.  It was a blast!  If you like to dance, it is surely something to look into.  If you aren’t comfortable with that sort of dance, then you might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but after a few minutes, you will feel completely at home.  Every move you make is honored, and nobody is really paying attention to what you’re doing.  The idea of “looking dumb” just isn’t a possibility in this space.  It was pretty neat.  AND…I bet I burned a TON of calories between the Yoga and the dancing.  The end of the the evening is brought back to a calm Yoga and Meditation.  I’d definitely do it again!  I think there’s a time and a place for structured Yoga and a time and a place for “outside the box” Yoga, both of which I really appreciated.  This was something really new to me and I enjoyed the fun and openness of it very much so.  There was definitely a spiritual essence to this too.  

The funny thing is that Jen hasn’t seen me at all since I lost 80 pounds, so while we were dancing, she came up to me and danced around me and said, “It’s soooo good to see you!  Well.  At least half of you!”  Hahaha.  It was funny.  But while I was dancing and swaying and jumping around, I caught my attention thinking about how I was doing all of these movements with 80 less pounds on  me.  I felt so much lighter and happier, and it was a feeling I wouldn’t trade for the world.  I still got out of breath, but just the knowing at how much less weight I was carrying made me feel really awesome and so much healthier.  My body is my temple!  Oh, and I did a Yoga pose that I wasn’t able to do before!  So that was super exciting!

Here’s to trying very new things and letting yourself go.

First photo taken in Paris. Down 80 pounds in 12 months!

I feel like I am getting back in the swing of things since coming home from Paris.  I feel a little lazy – maybe it’s just the jet lag?  I’ve been back for one week, and when I got home, I went straight to work and then came down with this cold.  I haven’t been to the gym all week, which I’m going to change really soon.  I can definitely feel a difference with not getting as much cardio done as I was.  The weight is still dropping (officially hit my 80 pound mark!) but it’s more than just the pounds – it’s how I feel and it’s the reality of a lifestyle change.  I got a gym membership at an AMAZING discount, and I haven’t belonged to a gym (other than the one in my apartment building) in a few years.  But I got such a great deal on this gym membership that I couldn’t pass it up.  So, my goal is to go to the gym soon!  Tomorrow night I can’t, but maybe this weekend?  Soon though!  

It’s been fun getting back on Facebook and having old friends and new friends see me.  Even if some of them haven’t noticed the weight loss, I just feel like I’m so much happier and healthier looking in my photos.  

I don’t know about you, but I’m SO ready for Spring to arrive!  I am ready for longer days, so when I come home from work, it’s still light enough for me to go on a walk or jog.  I’m ready to see flowers blooming.  I’m ready to buy some new Spring clothes!  

I’ve taken a long minute to get back to my Blog.  I thought I’d be able to update it while in Paris, but unfortunately our internet didn’t work in the hotel.  But I am here and rolling right along!  I am definitely ready to start kicking my butt again.  And you can feel free to kick it for me, too  I am so excited to be down 80 pounds in 12 months…I ACHIEVED MY 1-YEAR GOAL!!!  But I want to keep the momentum going, and I’m afraid if I get to excited, I’ll get too comfortable where I am.  My next goal is to be down 100 pounds by July.  

Paris really was amazing.  I had a very hard time with some of the food, but over all, I made good choices and walked A LOT.  I actually lost 5 pounds!  I couldn’t eat the sandwiches, which are a staple to their diet.  So lunch time was a bit difficult.  And I did throw up twice.  My Lap Band just got weird with 2 things I ate.  No fun, but just part of the territory!  It was an amazing trip!!!  And there’s so much more to focus on in Paris than the food.  Although this one night, m y friend and I ate at this amazing restaurant and had this 3 course meal which really was one of the best meals I’ve ever had!  I enjoyed the food (when it enjoyed me) but didn’t focus on it.  I did eat a few croissants, which was really weird for me, since over here I’d NEVER eat one!  But over there, it was just kind of all they had.  And they were a normal size, not a HUGE AMERICAN super sized croissant.  All in all, very wonderful experience and I can’t wait to travel again soon!  

At the Eiffel Tower

Enjoying having one, but not going croissant crazy

Oh!  January 15th was my one year “bandiversary” and I celebrated it by walking to the top of the Notre Dame – which required me to walk up and down 400 steps!  I’m not sure I reflected as much on this day since I was in Paris and it was go-go-go, but it was very special and surreal to see how far I’d come!   

Walking up 400 steps on my 1-year "bandiversary"!