I have passed the 2-year mark since getting my lap band.  Time is going by so fast, it seems.  I am sometimes not sure time really reflects change or change reflects time.  Perhaps they are like odds and ends, ups and downs – you really can’t have one without the other.

I have started fitness bootcamp and this is a brand new endeavor that I never-in-a-million-years thought I would take on.  When I look back on my life, I dreaded any type of physical activity that involved me being around other people.  I loved playing basketball – but I was always the slowest person on the team.  Those damn suicide drills literally felt like emotional & physical suicide.  I despised P.E. class.  I cringed at the fitness competition my elementary school had to do each year.  Recently, my best friend and I visited our Elementary school and I laughed at how I would cheat on the number of straws I had to represent how many laps I took around the field.  What a nightmare!  I didn’t as much mind the gym – everyone kind of keeps to themselves.  But to workout with people was a total non-desire.  It always made me so anxious that other people would see what poor shape I was in!

I turned a corner 2 weeks ago when a friend of mine convinced me to join Fit Wit.  She told me how nice everyone was – said there are some people who are super hardcore fit – and others who are average – and some that are beginners – but that everyone is very supportive.  I really hated the idea of doing something that put me in a situation where I had to exercise with other people in a confined space – do drills and stuff.  Well, long story short I decided to do Fit With b/c I was awarded 1 free session (6-weeks) b/c I wrote a blog entry for a competition they were having on why I deserved a free session.

Today was the first day of my 3rd week doing bootcamp … and I can’t believe these words are about to come out of my mouth … but I LOVE IT!  Everybody is so nice and supportive!  The trainers definitely push you, but they aren’t like those psycho trainers you see on TV (I am thinking of the Military sergeant in the movie Full Metal Jacket).  And on top of this, I am really enjoying all the different activities we do each night.  It spices it up.  I am not dreading saying to myself, “Ugh, I have to go to the gym and get on the treadmill for 30 minutes).  Instead, there are little activities you do in short but difficult increments of time.  Everything is thought out for me too, so I just have to literally show up and do it!  I am still learning how to do the correct form for some of the stuff – like squats.  And I get a full 1-hour workout 4 days a week.  I haven’t lost any weight yet, I think my body is like, “Whoa!  What the hell are you doing?”  But I am staying confident that I am building muscle and the weight will come off.  I don’t think I have ever pushed myself this hard before in such a short amount of time too.  If I can do it, I know you could, too.

Last Friday was my 2-year Lap “Bandiversary” and I was awarded, serendipitously, camper of the week!  I won 20-free dance classes!  There are so many moments during the camp when I think to myself, “I f***ing can’t believe I am actually doing this!”  I picture how scared I was 2 years ago going into the hospital and now knowing what kind of person I would become when I walked out of there.  It’s fun to push myself.  Even though I have lost 90 lbs, I want to push my body and mind even further.  I want to be in tip top shape.  I want to keep changing over time into being a better, healthier “me.”  It takes time, and I know I am not perfect, and don’t always eat perfectly or have the perfect thoughts or attitude or energy – but at least I am making baby steps!