Things overall are going well. Work has been good. I am going to start looking at getting a new car – or by new I mean new for me – probably a used one. I’ve driven the same Volvo since I was 15! I love him – and named him Ringo. He’s seen me through pretty much most of my life! At least the interesting and scandalous stuff 
Haha. I feel like it’s just another change that will occur to symbolize all of my other changes. I’m growing up. Becoming an adult. Still ridiculously silly and all of that, but I’m cleaning the grit off of my stove, making bill payments, folding laundry, going to bed by midnight, etc. All of these very “adult” like symptoms are coming over me. It’s strange to stop and think that I am an adult. I enjoy it for the most part! Maybe because I was always looked at as the “baby” in my family – having an older sister – so now that I’m maturing and being all domestic and stuff, I am more aware of it. This is just a little tangent obviously. But maybe it relates to weight because I am pushing myself into new directions. We have moments in life where we realize we’re not solely who our parents are. And moments where we realize we are turning into our parents. What defines us?
I was always “chubby” and “overweight” growing up. I told someone a story the other day about when I used to play basketball and my coach totally got mad at me because I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the team. She sat me down in 8th grade – in the locker room – and literally made me feel awful. Looking back, I’m sure she thought she was trying to help me. And it’s not like I was so overweight that I couldn’t play and TLC was doing a documentary on me, haha, but I know that I wasn’t in as good of shape as the rest of my team. So now, many years later, I’ve taken my progress seriously. Weight loss is highly emotional and highly addictive. And I want to reach my goals so badly. I mean, hell, I’ve already lost 80 pounds! Now I’m totally focused on reaching that 100 mark. The pants I wore to work today were too big. It’s a bummer how much money I’ve had to spend on clothes, but it’s also joyous.
Maybe that’s the point of this blog. There is a good and bad to everything. And as we grow up, we realize that there are two sides to every coin. Being an adult has lots of cons but there are many pros, too. I think I was always scared of growing up. And maybe a part of me was scared to lose all this weight. It’s all about fear of the unknown. But during my walk/jog today after work – I saw some cherry blossom trees and the petals fell onto me just as I was walking underneath them – as if to say -
We welcome you. Just as you are. In this moment.
This is from my blog Live Life To The Fullest
