Some late-night thoughts…

I am frustrated that I can’t seem to upload my video from the day of my surgery onto my iMovie. It won’t seem to record. I want to edit it so I can post it on my Blog! Just be on the lookout soon enough it’ll be on here.

I went to the Gyno today (never a fun field trip) and they weighed me and it seems as though I’ve lost 16 pounds! Now, scales are different and so I know this scale is different there then the one I have at home, which is different then Dr. Champion’s scale. So I don’t want to obsess about the numbers – but I am estimating I must have lost somewhere between 13-16 pounds. I’ve had my band in me now for 3.5 weeks and I go in for my first fill (where they tighten my band) in 2 weeks. I think this is working, ya’ll!!!

My friend Kate told me tonight that she can already tell a difference in me. There wasn’t a tremendous amount of detail to her comment, but I don’t think there needed to be. I get what she’s saying. I think I am just more at ease. She also said she thinks I’ll probably go through a “Player” phase. You mean like I’ll play a lot of Monopoly and UNO?

Hmmmmmmm. Who says I already haven’t been a player in my day? J/K.

But I know what she’s saying. She’s saying that I am more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to sleep around with random people and be careless with hearts (including my own), but I think it’d be fun to have some more crushes and eventually go on some casual dates again. After all, I was in a year-long, serious relationship with somebody I really loved. I don’t think I am ready for a Round 2 of that just yet. I refuse to jump into anything with anyone – serious or not. Even though I’ve been 5 months single again, I know I am still just not ready. And it’s not that I feel asexual – I’ve had a few awesome moments here and there with someone I really care about. It’s been fun to be flirty and make-out again, and to know that I am still alive in that sense. But my main objective right now is to still just focus on me. To be a little bit selfish at this juncture in my life. I have gone through major transition these last few months in the area of career, relationship and body. That’s a lot to handle, but not too much!

I am excited to see as I keep losing weight, how I begin to change. Since in all reality, I already am very outgoing. I do love to go out, but haven’t gone out much this past year for a variety of reasons. So what will transform? How will I seem to evolve? What will seem different in my personality to others? These are all exciting and intriguing questions.

I think when the time’s right to date again, my intuition will send me a MEMO. In the meantime – I’ll take notes on Shane from “The L Word” and Samantha from “Sex And The City” – and just put on my pseudo-player Super Hero costume.