This has been, by far, the hardest year of my life. I lost my job when the company I had worked at for 4 years dissolved. Then I fell in love. Then I contemplated surgery for weight loss. None of those things were related, but somehow – as the wise ones say, “When it rains, it pours.” So then I had no money. Still had no job. Then went through a very painful break-up. And still had no job or money and now no relationship. The last 3 months were particularly difficult. At least I still had my dignity! Haha, jk. But even through all this, I still kept on with the planning of this weight loss surgery. There were moments I wanted to give up and just sit around all day in my pajamas and cry and eat ice cream. It was like everything I knew had left my world. And soon hereafter…the normality of food (something I enjoy and that I look forward to) was going to leave my life, too. I am not going to be able to eat like a ‘normal’ person. Food is a constant in our lives. And it is one of the very few things in this world we actually have control over – how much we eat. How little we eat. What we eat and when. I had lost my job, my income, the person I talked to every day who had become my best friend, and who I was expecting to be by my side as I went through with the surgery – and now I had to continue going thru the preparation and the actual surgery alone. I still have my friends and family, who are amazing, but that’s just how it felt. It was really scary and still sometimes is, but I know I am all the stronger for it. I tried to get through all the pain in the most healthy ways. I pretty much cried, read and went to the gym. I actually didn’t eat for four days straight after the break up. I had never experienced NOT having an appetite before! I remember this one day in particular was extremely rough. I found out some really disappointing news and was so upset that I began to cry at my temp job. I didn’t want the girl next to me to see me so I went outside to call my sister. Then later in the day I got a call from my temp agency that I had been fired from this assignment for being so emotional and asking to leave an hour early. I thought, “Oh my God! I can’t even keep a temp job!” All my friends were still at work so I had nobody to call. What did I do? I went to the gym. I wasn’t going to be defeated. And I realized, if I can get through heartbreak…well, I can get through anything! And dammit…temp jobs suck, anyway.
And now, I am one month away from getting my surgery. I am proud of myself for sticking through the preparation despite my other set backs. My surgery date is January 15th. This is awesome because A) 15 is my lucky number and B) I am having it done at Northside Hospital – where I was born – so I look at all of this as a “new birth” and a “new beginning.”
Here’s the back story…
At first I was going to go through Emory to get my surgery. I went to their support group, a 2-hour nutritional meeting, a seminar, met with the surgeon, and did about 100 hours worth of reporting on my diet history, medical history, I had to get a psychological exam (to make sure I am mentally fit for surgery and don’t have deep rooted issues…I passed). I had to spend about 7-hours at the hospital for very uncomfortable testing – breathing tests, heart tests, they had to take blood from my vein AND artery, a chest x-ray, an EKG and another meeting with the nutritionist. I wasn’t complaining since I knew everything was important, but it was about 6 months of being exhausted just getting ready to get ready for surgery. But long story short, I went through the process at Emory and my mom and I realized we didn’t like how their team handled communication and handled the process. I just got a bad vibe. So I made the decision from my gut to get my surgery elsewhere. It would be a pain but might be worth it in the long haul. I mean, I am getting surgery from these people…not a manicure.
From word of mouth of a great family friend Dr. Mascali, he referred me to Dr. J. K. Champion who did surgery on his mother-in-law. I immediately called up his office, made an appointment, and met with he and his team December 3rd. I could immediately tell he would be the Doctor for me. He was kind, very experienced (I think an entire wall was covered with plaques and certificates) plus there was a photo of he with Carnie Wilson. How could I refuse? But seriously, this was a place where literally, his staff would know my name, unlike Emory. Literally, they didn’t remember my name. Nothing against Emory, but I just think they run such a HUGE operation that their organization, communication and “personal touch” lacks – which are three things which are important to me.
You may wonder what surgery I am getting?? If you don’t already know, I am getting what’s called the LAP Band or Realize Band. It is different then Gastric Bypass for many reason:
1. It is reversible
2. More patient follow-ups with doctor
3. There is NO cutting of my stomach or intestines
4. It is adjustable
5. Shorter recovery period
6. I can still eat sweets (in moderation, of course…but yeah!)
7. No major nutritional deficiencies
8. Safer pregnancy. I’m not worried about this now! But maybe one day…
9. The LAP Band is ONLY a tool. You still have to do your own work to succeed. Eat SMALL amounts of food that are high protein/low carb, and exercise. Gastric Bypass, it pretty much does all the work for you. For some reason, I like the idea of still being in control a little bit and being able to still eat what I want (for the most part) but just a fraction of what I’m currently used to.
In short, the LAP Band is literally a band that they put around the top of your stomach. In which case, this creates a little pouch. The rest of my stomach is still in tact, but the food I eat will go into the little pouch first, signaling to my brain that I am full.
Weight loss surgery is for people who have tried many, many diets and have not succeeded. It has especially proved successful for those who have PCOS. In short, I need to eat no more then 1000-1200 calories a day…which most people if not everyone on a daily basis totally eat between 1500-2500 a day. In order for me to lose weight, I have to be more then strict. I actually need a tool that will literally not allow me to eat more then I need. The thing about weight loss surgery (WLS) is that many folks think it’s the easy way out or that if you get it, you just don’t have will power and are lazy. Truth is, I have worked harder at losing weight then anything else in my life. Not to mention, I am not lazy. I work out weekly. I eat well. I think I am overweight for a few reasons:
1. I was born with that extra special signal in my brain that gets happy when I think about or eat food. It’s been pretty subconscious, but the more I have paid attention to myself, the more I realize I just really do love food. I don’t eat when I am depressed or anxious. I just think the dopamine in my head gives me that extra special “high” when I think about eating. I don’t know if you’d call thi
s an addiction or not – but I heard someone say once that it doesn’t matter what you call it, the outcome is still the same. So whether I have an addiction to food or not doesn’t really matter. The “label” is really the least of my concerns. But most people have some sort of addiction. I’ve seen my friends through many of their ghosts: alcohol, cocaine, shopping, cutting themselves, smoking pot, smoking cigarettes, sex, exercise, working, eating too much, eating too little, their body image, addicted to falling in love, addicted to pleasing people, addicted to worrying, etc. Our list could go on and on…
2. Genetics. There’s just nothing I can do about this one except thank my ancestors for giving me a survivors body
3. Portion control. That’s just hard in our society. Every meal is just so big! And plus, I have a big stomach and therefore, it takes a lot for me to feel full.
4. PCOS. Already covered this one.
So put all these together – and WAM-BAM-Thank-You-Oprah, I am overweight. I don’t know why I just thought of Oprah, but since she’s sorta a Demi-God I figured she has something to do with all of this.
My weight yo-yo is not out of lack of trying, praying, thinking and working. It is, actually, the one thing I have worked harder on then anything and seen the least amount of results. My Psychologist agrees that I don’t have some deep rooted issue as to why I’m overweight. I wasn’t abused. I didn’t not get Christmas presents one year. In short, I am just genetically and physically pre-disposed to obesity. Oh, and also I am extroverted. And many, you will find, people who are extroverted, are overweight? Why? Food is social. Extroverts are social. Put one and one together and you have a fat jolly friend.
So, I am getting the LAP Band surgery. Dr. Champion’s staff is so nice. I email them questions all the time and they immediately email or call me back. They have some sweet Southern charm AND are good about communicating. I didn’t have either of these at Emory.
I will talk more about my LAP Band in my next few Blogs and what I can expect from my surgery. In the meantime, I have links above to Dr. Champion’s website and a link to learn more about the LAP Band.
I have also just finished Khaliah Ali’s book “Fighting Weight: How I Achieved Weight Loss With “Banding,” A New Procedure That Eliminates Hunger – FOREVER.”
She’s the daughter of Muhammad Ali (the sister to the one who was on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ and is a boxer). She wrote a memoir about her struggle with her weight and how getting banded changed her life. I relate to her a lot because she’s a total go-getter who even did Lane Bryant plus-size modeling and started her own line of clothing and charity work. And looking out she was happy and an over-achiever, but she always felt defeated by that one thing: her weight. I also put a link to her book above, too. If you or someone you know are looking at getting a LAP Band, I HIGHLY recommend this book.
